Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Be anxious about nothing...

Yesterday, I had an appointment with my gasteroenterologist. I was nervous. I have been feeling some changes, some pain, and I worried that I'm entering or suffering from a Crohn's flare. My mind has raced with the possibilities of what has caused these new symptoms. I had diagnosed myself with a plethora of new diseases, and was prepared for really grave news.

Monday night, I was a ball of nerves. I drank my Sleepytime Vanilla tea, had fitful rest. I proceeded to mull the possibilities Tuesday morning on the way to the doctor. I stopped at Target for some retail therapy, but even that didn't quiet my brain. I finally headed to the doctor's office to await certain doom. In the waiting room, I pulled out my phone and opened by Bible app. I wanted to read Philippians 4, specifically this:
"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."

I read it about 30 times. I recited it to myself. I had almost calmed down until the nurse called me back. Again, I began feeling a surge of anxiety. I cautioned her that my blood pressure wouldn't be good, and was I ever right! 168/98! My pulse was racing. I pulled my phone out again and began concentrating. The peace which surpasses all understanding. I repeated it over and over. It swept over me, and my heart and mind was able to rest in Jesus.

The news was pretty good. I will try some new medicines to eradicate the new symptoms. I will have  colonoscopy in March to see if the disease is active. I'll see a rheumatologist to help me get a handle on my aches and pains. Nothing shocking, earth-shattering, life-altering.

God is good. I have to remember that. He is faithful. He will not forsake me. Anything that comes my way, I'll handle with His peace. I won't be anxious.

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