Thursday, April 7, 2011

It's me, it's me, it's me, O Lord!

Standin' in the need of prayer. I bought the boys a new CD of fun little religious songs, and that's one of them, and tonight it applies to me.

I go back to work on Monday.  When I think about it, my chest gets tight and I want to throw up. It isn't that I hate my job. Really. I've just lost my fire for it. I feel very strongly that there is something else I should be doing, and I suspect that it is all a part of God's bigger plan for me. Some of that is being revealed to me, little by little, but it's like working a big puzzle- I've only got the edges put together. The big picture in the center is still in pieces waiting to be figured out. And, you all know, waiting drives me nuts!

Here's where the prayer part comes in. I need you to pray that God will continue to reveal His plans for me, and that I'll have a heart and eyes that are open enough to recognize it. I need you to pray that I'll have enough faith to walk down that path, even though I already can tell that it might be scary, it might be unpopular, and it might be difficult. I need you to pray that I'll be strong enough to handle the opposition and the challenges that come along. I need you to pray that I'll be obedient no matter what.

I know that God is mighty and can do more than I imagine possible. I've seen Him work before, but usually it is in the lives of others. Now, I'm beginning to see Him working in my life, and it is amazing- and terrifying! I appreciate your prayers and your love! You guys are the best!!!


1 comment:

Megan said...

Okay, what I'm about to say may be unpopular and not well received, but I'm gonna say it anyway ... and I say it from a place of experience and love.

As you know, I was laid off for a full year. It was by far, one of the scariest times in my life to date, and I fell into a pretty deep depression -- probably could have used drugs. :)

The entire time, I kept questioning God, yelled at Him, screamed at Him, questioned His placement of the struggle in my life ... He'd pulled me out of one mess into a a safe place, only to leave me hanging on the precipice, or so I perceived.

In hindsight, it was to get me to a place where I would say, YES to His next move ... to get me down here. It's been a life-changing move, one that blesses me daily.

Am I necessarily THRILLED with the way things are going professionally? I think you know that answer. However, I have this feeling that I need to wait it out because He's not done weaving and working through this all.

All this to say that sometimes He puts us in places that are hard ... rough ... gut-wrenching so that we are more receptive to what He's going to ask us to do next ... that in normal "life is soooo good" times, we would flat out refuse.

As difficult as it is, lay off the chest-tightening and allow God to work through this situation, as meat-grinder like as it is. He will reveal Himself fully on His time, and you will be blown away by His complex plan that He's been laying foundation for months, even years.

I'm praying that He radically moves through you this weekend, and that you feel a peace that is beyond comprehension.

He has a plan that even we can't conceive of.

Love ya, girl!