A testament to my fine housekeeping skills

I guess it says something about the kind of housekeeper I am when I roll out the vacuum cleaner to suck up the goldfish disaster that is my living room floor, and Sam completely flips out. Like my Hoover upright is the scariest monster he's ever seen. Do I vacuum that infrequently that he doesn't know what it is????

It's not that I don't enjoy having a clean house. I do . I just don't enjoy cleaning it! I pretty much wait until a job has to be done before I do it. This is not a source of pride for me, but it's just how I'm wired. Take me or leave me as is, cause June Cleaver I'm not!

My dad, out of sympathy or despair, I'm not sure which, provides me with a little slush fund each month that allows me to hire someone to come in and clean my house weekly, I suppose to help me keep my house from being condemned. Thank goodness!